dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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