please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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