You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm like, not good at living.
I'm too high and old for this...
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
