dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
