I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
