she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
