Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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