hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
