It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
