At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
