honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
he fucked my hip out of place.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
