He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize