OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize