So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
vagina is talking i cant
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Randomize
