she looked like the before picture.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
