i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
