ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
