ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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