How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
