god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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