Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize