Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(816): View more from Missouri

YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!

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(303): View more from Colorado

You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat

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(908): View more from New Jersey

was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.

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(516): View more from New York

I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.

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(260): View more from Indiana

Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.

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(903): View more from Texas

I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.

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(702): View more from Nevada

dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos

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