I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
