This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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