If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Randomize