I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize