I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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