So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
she told me i tasted like america
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
