Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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