What did we do last night that was yellow?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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