how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Lo siento on account of my penis...
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
