Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize