ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
