In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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