You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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