she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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