Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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