Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
