Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
