They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
