so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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