there was a trapeze. enough said
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
His hands were made for my vagina.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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