i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Drake has all the answers
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
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