I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
it's like iHOP with fire
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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