So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
