went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
