i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
