Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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