At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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