I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
