Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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