Pants 0. Shit 1.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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