i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
A+ Viking dick
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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