They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize