Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
