Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Randomize
