Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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